This is a big issue for most of the women who walk into my practice thinking I can help them get pregnant.
It becomes an even larger one when they may have had a few miscarriages, and may be feeling remarkably distressed about starting to try again. The damage of loss of hope, of watching and hearing of other’s easy pregnancies, and of the years passing, and of the apparent unfairness of life all take their toll.
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Why? Fertility is seen medically to be predominantly a woman’s issue.
Part of this is that it is usually SHE who is desperately wants to be a mum. The prospective dad may not have the same drive . . . it is often that he is acquiescing to the idea, and may even have an amount of resistance to change.
Often the man can be duped into thinking that it is ’her’ problem and he is just there supporting her efforts. Many times I have had a couple come in and find that although he is there for moral support – HE really needs to be on the table.
A lot know that their partner’s sperm is not as good as it is supposed to be.
A lot are told that it ‘is ‘OK’ or ‘fine’
Some are even told that it is ’good enough’.
In most cases it is not.
Invariably, the women are told that it is there apparent ‘old eggs’, or their ‘lessened ovarian reserve’ or their age, or that that they need donated eggs, or that they left their run too late, or that they in some way due to some medical label, (endometriosis, PCOS as examples) are less likely to conceive.
A feeling of hopelessness may prevail.
Yet – as HE is making half the baby, this would be a great place to start, especially as it is not an instant process to change the quality, number or viability of sperm. When health improves, so does all else. We make our sperm and eggs from the ‘leftovers’ after running our bodies. The more well and rested and happy we are – the more fertile we become. Automatically the sperm become more numerous, virile and victorious.
Often this is missed in the medical push for urgency. Often what is not realised is that ovarian reserve is just another way of saying – are you healthy enough to be pregnant – as this is not set in concrete, and like sperm quality/quantity is easy to change.
Perhaps stop forcing nature (and patently nature is not happy with you as you are not parents).
1) -Start from the beginning – become more focused on health and happiness – yours . .. make a better baby. Far less expensive. The soil in gardens needs tending prior to growing vegetables, or any produce.
2) – Stop listening to those reproductive specialists who ignore the obvious (neither of you are well and vibrant) and who have no idea why miscarriages and ‘blighted ovum’ and mishaps happen (great embryo – didn’t take .. .) – and go with nature – more healthy – more fertile.
Most farmers are very particular about what animals they mate with what they have already nurtured as the best breeders. Most men I see as part of a couple would not pass breeding muster at a farm.
New bulls /rams/stallions would be called in – as the best of the best are what makes for great calves/lambs/race horses – and the best is what is needed when a couple wish to make a baby – as this baby is only made once. This baby is precious once conceived and this baby is all they will focus upon.
Why is the male contribution not fostered as the most important place to start? It is at least three and a half months from changing habits until the better sperm emerge. Starting with him thus is good practice.
What to do?
Start by knocking out all chemicals from the home and work environments – as sperm are fragile and vulnerable to all influences. This means smoking, drinking caffeine, soft drinks and alcohol, as well as all prescription drugs – (yes I do mean get well first) – are in order.
This means seeing a good natural healer who has the tools to undo the illnesses are currently being medicated. The reasons for the gut /stress/health upsets are also by themselves – before talking of drugs interactions – creating fertility problems. If we reduce the acid content of the stomach, it means that great digestion (where we make the ingredients for babies) is lessened.
Most prescription drugs mask the lack of vitality and the return to health means an automatic return to fertility and great babies.